The Lies! The Biggest Ones Are Those We Tell Ourselves.
Rewriting Inner Narratives for a Truth-Based Life
“The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.”
Socrates
It’s easy to spot a liar—maybe they fidget, avoid eye contact, or their story doesn’t add up.
But what about the lies we tell ourselves?
The ones we repeat so often that they start to feel like truth?
These lies hold us back. They keep us from growing, from taking chances, from living fully.
What if we stopped lying to ourselves?
What if we rewrote the stories in our minds?
Perhaps, we’d be living the life we actually want.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
How do you recognize the lies you tell yourself? By identifying what’s keeping you stuck. Look for these signs—you may identify with more than one.
I still catch myself saying some of these, but thankfully, I change them as soon as I notice.
🟡 “I can’t”
It feels safer to assume we can’t do something than to risk failure. Maybe we’ve tried before and failed, or we’ve seen others struggle and think, “If they couldn’t do it, how could I?” Avoiding effort protects our ego, but it also keeps us stuck. If we don’t try and see for ourselves, it’s a lie.
Challenge the “I can’t” belief by taking small steps toward the very thing you’re avoiding. Failure is not the enemy; it’s part of growth.
Reflect on past moments when you succeeded after initially failing or doubting yourself. Instead of saying “I can't,” ask yourself, “What if I tried just one small step today?”
Each effort moves you closer to success, and each failure teaches you something valuable. The key is to redefine failure as feedback, not defeat.
🟡 “I’m not enough”
You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough.
Are you certain? How did you get yourself into this thought? Perhaps by comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate.
What if we stopped comparing ourselves to others and started living our lives? Only taking care of our power field.
Recognize that the root of these feelings likely lies in the past or unchallenged beliefs. Shift from focusing on what you lack to acknowledging what you already have.
Practice gratitude for your unique qualities and understand that the idea of “enough” is subjective.
Every time the thought of “I’m not enough” arises, counter it with evidence of your accomplishments, strengths, and progress.
🟡 “I’ll wait for the right moment to start.”
There’s too much on our plate, too many uncertainties. It seems logical to wait until we have more money, more confidence, or more stability.
If I start now, I might fail. If I wait, maybe things will be easier later.
The truth is, the “right time” will never come on its own.
It’s a concept we use to procrastinate and avoid the discomfort of starting. Understand that waiting for the perfect moment only leads to more waiting.
Real magic happens when you make the decision to start, regardless of the circumstances.
Ask yourself, “What’s the smallest action I can take today to move forward?” Once you start, momentum builds, and what seemed overwhelming becomes manageable. Starting is often the hardest part, but it’s also the most rewarding.
🟡 “It’s not my fault.”
Think of situations and circumstances involving you and others. How many times have you taken responsibility for yourself? Whenever someone else is at fault, we have a good excuse to stay in the same position.
As many bad, toxic, unworthy, hypocritical people as there are, the responsibility for us lies only with us and we must take it.
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. It means reclaiming your power by focusing on what you can control—your actions, decisions, and reactions.
Shifting from a victim’s mindset to one of agency is transformative. Instead of asking, “Who’s to blame?” ask, “What can I do to change this situation for the better?”
Empower yourself by recognizing that the ability to change your life starts with the choices you make, not with what others do.
🟡 “This is just how I am.”
Change is exhausting. It’s easier to believe that our personality, habits, and struggles are permanent rather than go through the discomfort of growth.
I’ve been like this for many years. I was raised by this belief. It took a lot of effort to change it. But I did. Now, I seek opportunities to change.
Realize that your past doesn’t define your future.
The belief that “this is just how I am” is a comfortable lie that keeps you stuck. Growth isn’t always easy, but it’s always possible.
Shift your focus from how you’ve been to who you want to become. Start by identifying one habit or mindset that no longer serves you and begin replacing it with something aligned with your growth.
Understand that growth often requires discomfort, but it’s in those moments of discomfort that transformation happens.
Change begins the moment you choose to see the possibility of a new version of yourself.
🟡 “When things change, then I will…”
We tie happiness and success to external changes—more money, a better job, the right partner. It’s easier to wait than to accept that happiness is an internal process. After all, what if we stop waiting and still don’t feel fulfilled?
Happiness is not a destination, but a moment. When we place our happiness in the hands of external circumstances, we give away our power.
Instead, shift your focus inward. Ask yourself, “How can I find joy and fulfillment in the present moment?” It may need a small step only.
Choose to focus on what you can control right now. Happiness isn’t something you get when things change; it’s something you choose to create in each moment.
🟡 “I don’t have time.”
Our schedule is full. Work, responsibilities, endless tasks—so where is the extra time supposed to come from?
It’s easier to say we don’t have time than to admit we might not be prioritizing the right things.
Time is the one resource we all have in equal measure, and it’s how we choose to use it that matters.
The truth is, we all have time for the things we prioritize. Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself, “Are the activities I’m focusing on aligned with my values and goals?”
If not, it’s time to make room for what truly matters. Start small by committing to spending 10-15 minutes a day on something that brings you joy or supports your well-being.
Time isn’t the issue—how you manage it is.
🟡 “I don’t have money.”
Money is tight. Bills, expenses, and obligations add up. It’s comforting to believe that financial limitations are the only reason we’re stuck. But sometimes, not having money is also about how we allocate the money we do have or the beliefs we’ve built up over time.
Examine your relationship with money. What beliefs or fears do you hold around it? Is money a source of stress, or do you see it as a tool for freedom and opportunity?
Shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset by focusing on what you can do with what you have.
Explore new ways to think about your financial resources—not just as an obstacle, but as a way to create new opportunities.
“Truth exists; only lies are invented”
Georges Braque
Once we recognize these self-limiting beliefs, how do we ensure we don’t fall back into them?
Living in alignment with our core values provides a guiding light.
What do you value most—kindness, courage, honesty, creativity?
When your actions reflect your core values, self-doubt fades, truth rises, and confidence grows.
Understanding and living in harmony with our core values can be thought of as our life’s work. Our values are our personal principles about what is good and right in the world.
Living in harmony with them starts from the moment we become aware of our sense of right and wrong.
Moving Forward
Whatever the case may be, the lies we tell ourselves can prevent us from acting and achieving our goals. They can hold us back and keep us from moving forward.
They won’t disappear overnight.
But with awareness, kindness, and a commitment to living by our values, we can start rewriting our inner stories.
The truth is, we have that power to rewrite those stories, and it is a process worth undertaking.
The power to change your story is already yours—start writing it.
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Lovely article. The mind is so powerful. What we repeat becomes our reality. The moment we challenge these limiting beliefs, we reclaim our ability to grow and create the life we want.
That's so true ain't it!? Love this and also the Socrates quote! Well done Despina!